Breathless

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capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Breathless

#1 Post by capricorn » 11 Apr 2022, 04:05

Breathless

At a Distance we amble
around Perry Hall Park without
your reassuring bumble hum.

Grasslands ablaze with daffodils,
magnolias explode, their petals confetti
the pathways, we stomp to a slush.

When roses unfurl, we still walk
alone, praying you will be unlocked
before sycamore wings spin down.

I slump on your favourite chair, missing
the nuisance of your shredded paper
snowflakes, your riant smile -

the ringtone blasts me from reverie
gasping for news
that I can breathe again.


I wrote this at the beginning of the pandemic, missing my autistic son through all the seasons.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Breathless

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 11 Apr 2022, 04:11

A spring poem
very nice.
I could smell the park.
Welcome back.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Breathless

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 11 Apr 2022, 09:33

It's gentle and subdued.I like the visuals of confetti/shredded paper/snow flakes.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Breathless

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 12 Apr 2022, 00:32

Nice subtle touches throughout. I especially liked S3.

Great to have you back.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Breathless

#5 Post by capricorn » 20 Apr 2022, 23:51

Thanks Frank, Ken & Bob. It's good to have your comments.
Eira

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