Compulsion

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meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Compulsion

#1 Post by meenas17 » 30 Apr 2022, 15:26

Very much into the mundane
funds, revenue, haunt me
deadlines, commitments
tear me apart,
as I recline in exhaustion.

Rupee ebbs and falls
promises scare me, I count,
calculate, tabulate all through
'the night burning the mid night
oil, My eyes beseech.

I keep going with a drive.
Unable to remain alert
I fall asleep and in the dream
the currency floats, assurances fly
I sink slowly into a coma .
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Compulsion

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 02 May 2022, 19:57

I like the theme. Midnight oil is way overused...Toss it. "beseech" isn't a word one would use in contemporary speech. I like the idea of keeping imagery to calculations and images of money.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Compulsion

#3 Post by capricorn » 04 May 2022, 02:18

Good theme, Meena, but I agree with Bob about 'midnight oil' and 'beseech'

Look forward to your revision

Eira

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