Cave Canem revised

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Cave Canem revised

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 03 Apr 2023, 08:33

Cave Canem

In Pompeii, on a wall
of the House of the Tragic Poet,
a mosaic greets the visitor:
Cave Canem. Beware of Dog.

Centuries later
the growling mongrel
though leased— and chained—
makes one want to leap

out of the way…

If I could hang one sign
on my front door it would be:
DO NOT DISTURB, a good sleep
essential to a poet.

Yet how long can I sleep knowing
Time’s ineffable rush,
which is clearer to me as a poet
than weather is to a meteorologist…

What is there to protect me
from the massing of Time’s
ash gray clouds over my roof?
What sign can I hang to keep Death
from ringing my doorbell?

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Cave Canem revised

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 03 Apr 2023, 11:21

I laugh as I read, Bob, the same thought
occurs to older men, when?
I like the dog leaping so many centuries on.
The person who wrote the warning sign
is immortalised in a way. I wonder if our work
will last as long.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Cave Canem revised

#3 Post by capricorn » 15 Apr 2023, 04:02

I agree with Frank's comments, there is so much to like about this poem. I feel st1 could read a little smoother though - the fist couple of lines read a bit jerky and there areb2 of's in line 2. Perhaps something like -

Outside his Pompeii house
the tragic poet has a mosaic
to greet visitors - Cave Canem
Beware of the Dog

Eira

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Cave Canem revised

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Apr 2023, 21:20

Thanks, Eira, for the suggestions. It’s great to have you back!

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