Sick Dog
It's night. A cold night.
I've turned up the thermostat.
Heavy socks. A blanket.
Chills, no fever
unless the thermometer's lying.
It's all a lie right now.
I was grateful a half-a-day ago.
Cough, cough, cough!
Where's this going,
back and forth between
Death Valley and the arctic?
My body won't lie down.
The ache doesn't have an off
and on switch. If this is anything
like dying, I'm backed in a corner
with the darkness
gnawing at my bones.
All I can count on is sleep,
if it settles between aches
and coughs like a pitiful, sick dog.
Sick Dog
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Sick Dog
It gets worse with age
Then you die
Then you die
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Sick Dog
I like these lines…. I like the playfulness here. Comedy is often the best way to talk seriously. A good way to write slant poetry.
Chills, no fever
unless the thermometer's lying.
It's all a lie right now.
I was grateful a half-a-day ago.
Cough, cough, cough!
Where's this going,
back and forth between
Death Valley and the arctic?
My body won't lie down.
The ache doesn't have an off
and on switch.
Chills, no fever
unless the thermometer's lying.
It's all a lie right now.
I was grateful a half-a-day ago.
Cough, cough, cough!
Where's this going,
back and forth between
Death Valley and the arctic?
My body won't lie down.
The ache doesn't have an off
and on switch.
-
- Posts: 196
- Joined: 10 Dec 2023, 14:59
Re: Sick Dog
I have to say, you've captured the feeling of being sick pretty well.
My only suggestion:
The ache doesn't have an off [and on] switch.
Take out the words in brackets.
My only suggestion:
The ache doesn't have an off [and on] switch.
Take out the words in brackets.