In Love - Removed - to be Published

[FranktheFrank]

She is publication.

[CalebMurdock]

This is a lovely tribute to your mate. I just want to say that before I go to bed. Right now I'm too tired to be more specific, but I will post again later today.

[FranktheFrank]

Thank you, Caleb, I appreciate your kind comment.

[CalebMurdock]

I prefer the part of the poem which is all personal, before you bring the friends into it, the friends who "gush". The poem is about what the speaker feels; what the friends feel seems gratuitous. But saying that the friends bring their troubles isn't so bad -- but I would make the comments about the friends brief.

The idea of making her your slave seems out of place in such a nice tribute. I wouldn't expect the speaker to even have such thoughts.

The part about the grandchildren is okay because they are relatives, the fruit of your relationship with Harmina.

I'm not going to advise you to tighten it up or cut it down because feelings like this like to be spoken casually, gently, slowly.

Altogether it's a lovely poem.

[FranktheFrank]

Thanks, Caleb. Good critique.

I am going to remove this poem now, it is marked for publishing in April
I will repost when it's out in the Zine out of respect for the Zine.

[CalebMurdock]

You seem to have found a magazine which loves your work. That's great. More power to you.

[FranktheFrank]

Thanks Caleb, they did rave about it, both Zines, which surprised me.
Bernie raved about it at the time and he is/was a good judge of poetry.
You may not remember Bernard Henrie, like Bob he won the 'Poet of the year'
and also 'Poet of the Decade.' He was a great expositor of poetry
and teacher. We all miss him. I think you would have liked him.