Of Love, Cuts and Caring

[CalebMurdock]

Of Love, Cuts and Caring

[BobBradshaw]

Fairly well done. It’s something that we’ve all thought and can relate to. I like your trying a different voice. I like the sneer in this:

Is there a poet working
at Johnson & Johnson? Or is that obvious?

I wanted a stronger punch line for a close than that last line, but I don’t have a suggestion. I really like the observation in these lines:

Do caring people buy more bandages? I suspect
that uncaring folks get into more scrapes.

[CalebMurdock]

Thank you, Bob -- very useful suggestions.

I realized after writing the poem that Johnson & Johnson is assuming that the person using the bandages is a mother caring for a child, so I guess the speaker in the poem is just pretending not to understand that.

Regarding the ending, that is a personal thing for me. I have always been a fairly liberal and compassionate person, but started to realize over the years that I wasn't as loving a person as I imagined I was. I did a very good job of "watching out for Number One" most of my life. Now, in my old age, I am taking stock and wondering things like, "Do I actually love anyone?" Or do I only love people who do things for me?

I have written other poems like this, and if my poetry survives, readers will recognize this poem as part of a thematic group of poems I have written. However, each poem must be effective standing on its own, so I'll look at coming up with a better ending.

[Billy]

I want to see it end at "that uncaring folks get into more scrapes", cut the last line. Or replace the last line with something like this:

Too often, the ones I've loved needed bandaging.

[CalebMurdock]

I want to see it end at "that uncaring folks get into more scrapes", cut the last line. Or replace the last line with something like this:

Too often, the ones I've loved needed bandaging.

Thanks so much, Billy. Good thought.

I'm more inclined to something more encompassing, such as ...

"Would that my life needed only a bandage."